First of all, my apologies for the prolonged absence, thanks for keeping the faith and welcome back !I had an epiphany today, I have those once in a while and when I do my day goes really well because I am convinced that I have realized something that is so simple and makes complete sense and yet most people have probably not thought about it. So today was one of those days, want to hear about it ? ok here goes..
In life we are always trying to do better, in our professional lives we train ourselves to be the best, exercise to keep ourselves fit (well most do), seek advice from experts on matters of health and well being, read books, talk to friends, etc the point is that we are always seeking information and training ourselves to do well. Yet, when it comes to parenting I am sure most parents don't spare a thought to seek "training" on how to be good parents. They simply rely on their natural instincts when it comes to parenting. Parents spend a great deal of time interracting with their kids, teaching them stuff, trying to control their behavior etc so doesn't it make sense that they get trained on how to be good parents from professionals in this field ? Shouldn't we learn more about parenting techniques and try to sharpen this skill ? And yet, I have not come across any Parenting Academy that teaches us more about how and why kids behave the way they do and how we should cope with it. So that was my "Hmm that makes sense, why does anyone not think about it" moment of the day.
My wife picked up the "Happiest Toddler on the Block" book and I began reading it today, currently on page 33 of 290, so still a long way to go but the author already has my attention. Atleast once on each page I go "Oh wow, yes Anushka does that", for example snatching things and saying "Mine !", classic Neanderthal behavior, the author says that children this age are like Neanderthals, or early humans. She has also developed a "fake" attention cry now, she actually looks pretty cute going "Ooo Ooo Ooo" with her frowned eyebrows trying to guage how her parents are going to react.
Anushka is getting cuter by the day, she is growing up too fast, displaying signs of being a toddler now and telling us "Mama, Dada, Ready or not here I come"...
17 comments:
Gosh i love the picture..is choooooo cute..
And welcome back after a long while..
I guess being a parent tend to come naturally. Is the most natural thing in the world and u dun need to train up for that.
Each parent and each child is unique and only they can realise it. So that’s why there is no such Parenting Academy (is there?”)
And frankly, all parents are protective of their kids and I dun think they will let a stranger teach them how to bring up their kid, coz most (or even all) parents hate listening to advice or comments random people give them or about their kids so that’s why there is no such “thing” coz no one will enroll..
P.S: Renu says:"u should tell Rahul to update bi annually.Its a good way to write your blog"
Isha
Warning Blue Moon! Blue Moon!
The blog is updated after so long.
About parenting, you know what they say right, your first is your practice child. :)
Definition of Parenting: The rearing of a child or children, especially the care, love, and guidance given by a parent.
I agree with Isha to a great extent, its the most natural thing in the world. We can read a few books on how to deal with kids if they throw tantrums or are angry, teach them to share etc etc. But when it comes to 'Parenting' its all about 'YOU' the parent. What you want to teach your kid, your values, culture, how you want them to behave...
As far as how an infant or toddler behaves, why they react the way they do.. all these things are covered under Emotional Devt. which is a part of Child Devt, and I believe all Child care teachers have to study it. So there are Academies for that.
Its great that you have found a good parenting book, I'll look for it too :)
WOw...finally an update ;)
Ever since i conceived, i have read loads of books in preparation for the big day! But i guess these books just serve as a guideline...there is never a surefire way of bringing up a child, we learn from day to day experiences ;)
Great to read all your comments :-)
I respectfully disagree. Parenting is not a 100% natural thing. I agree with you that Parenting is a very personal and individual thing, and that most parents would be touchy if someone else advised them about it. But being personal is not the same as being natural.
Look, child psychology is a a relatively new field, compared to other sciences there has not been much research done on it, we are just scraping the surface. Up until recently "Spare the rod and spoil the child" was the parenting mantra. So as this field evolves and we learn more about how babies think and act, we should try and arm ourselves with this new found knowledge.
Of course, then it is up to the individual parent to decide how they want to use that information, but hey atleast make a conscious decision, know why your kid is acting the way she is before you react, don't assume, understand !
BTW, Absolutely LOVE the pic, its ADORABLE! :)
Thanks, I have some more pics that I'll post on flickr.
Isha,
You are right there is no Parenting Academy. I think there should be one. Its a brilliant business idea. It may be little ahead of its time, but I really think it makes sense. A few years ago there were no Lamaze classes and now its all the rage, All the dads want to know what contractions feel like :-)
So.. "Reflections Parent Academy" -Bring out the best in your child.
Some day when I retire and have nothing better to do, thats my plan.
So I have been thinking about this. Isn't it enough to read books on 'Parenting'? Is there really a need for someone to teach you about these things? I have read some books and its not really that hard to understand whats written in them.
I am talking about books because you are going to be a parent for life. Your kid is going to go through various stages, 'Parenting for Teenagers' is different than for Toddlers. So should a parent take parenting classes every few years? Its just easier to update ourselves with books, don't you think?
Yes, books are great. I guess a more interractive medium would be nicer. Hmm.. I'm thinking only the first few years, 0-4 probably.
I'm sure that Parenting Academies would be coming out real soon, infact I won't be surprised if someone has already started it.
- Babu
Well, when I see those kids screaming the heads off and crying and rolling themselves all over the floor, I wish their parents attended a Parenting Academy...
My thinking is this: For every thing that your baby goes through, why do he/she/we/them run to a book? Every child develops in a different way. How will the author of any particular book answer based on the millions of the babies around the world and their uniqueness? And the symptoms/problems/attitude that different babies have?? Well some things be the same in all child, however, like in the book, the author says at 9 months, the baby will start teething. And if yours doesn’t, do you panic?? How does the author know about your baby? He is just stating these assumptions as a general answer. Like a guideline.. Be patient and eventually nature will take its own course. Not all answers are in the book.
(DISCLAMIER: WRITER DOES NOT CLAIM TO KNOW WHEN A BABY STARTS TEETHING!!AND WRITER DOES NOT CLAIM TO BE A PARENT EITHER)
Rahul Jiju, I am willing to be your partner in that business and we can make Sonia the "Teach Yr Babies Sign Class" teacher...and of coz Nukshi will be the role model. And Sunita maybe the Principal. Since she has 4 kids…. And Renu the Discipline Mistress
We should open one soon .If not someone who reads this will take our idea and generate profits for themselves...
Oh well scrap that idea. I just used Google and apparently Google told me that, there are a few such Academies in UK...
I am currently on a kick reading about pre-teen years. I find parenting gets harder and harder as the kids grow older. The decisions you have to make which will affect them throughout their lives..for eg.. Sonia is doing is cloth diapering versus disposables or her diet or when to transition her from one nap to two. Or dealing with temper tantrums(distractions are the best :) )
Whereas with Ashwina, I have to figure do I really want her to do choir, she is already doing soccer and brownies. She and I had a huge fight about this. She badly wants to do this drama/choir thing and I am putting my foot down.
Then with Avasha, who has a completely differently personality at home and outside, what do I do with her shyness. Should I force to talk more or let her be.. Should I sign her up for more classes or leave her alone.
Thats why I am reading books(I nebver bothered reading during the toddler years) and hoping the decsions Nk and I are making are NOT going to send to the therapist's couch 15 yrs down the line.
PS:Did Isha call you Rahuljiju?
Ok...am not leaving a comment to say anything abt the topic posted.
Just wanted to say that both Isha and Sraikh have too much time on their hands.
Plus did not want to be the only sister who did not comment
BTW when i do have kids they are gonna need all the help they can get since they would have me as a mother. Read all u want...just rem to help me when the time comes.
Renu
Sounds like Isha wants to convert your 'Reflections' Academy into "Rai" Academy ;)
Well, I wouldn’t say is a "Rai" Academy. As Sonia is now a Bhandarkar since she is married. And Sraikh is a Khapre.. As we all know, they follow their husband's surname...
So i think it will be a mix. Not a "Rai" Academy.
And Sraikh, I think you are a terrfic mother, and yea i did call him jiju, coz many other people will be reading the blog so i didnt want to appear "rude".is juz for show lah..Haha.
And i think u shld let her join choir.Let her experience it and see if that is what she really wants.U will never know.U might be "hiding" her talent if u dun let her "explore" herself. U should never stop a child’s creativity..Juz let it flow.....
And I think Avasha is more like me.Quiet outside and at home a total different person.Well, I think u should let her be.See how magnificent i turned out:)
My 2 cents(and dollars) worth of comment
And renu, yea I have too much time at hand..Jealous?? I think u will need lots of help..Dun worry, we have all expertise right at home, and a phone call away.Our two terrfic sisters who are now wondeful mums to their wonderful kids.And not forgetting our MUM
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